The Flu! Yes..a fast, naturally, painful way to drop inches and pounds. OK...OK...maybe the majority of it is water weight. From expelling various liquids out every orifices on your body. Heck girls, I'll take what I can get. Muffin Toppers can be choosers. So what if it costs a few underwear and Lysol wipes. Gotta look good for my hubbies Christmas party, even if it requires catching nasty viruses. Beauty is painful.So that was the somewhat good news...the bad news is I am no longer contagious. If I was..I would tell you all to come on over and drink out of my glass, and let me lick your cheek! However there still is hope for you all out there...if you are in need of a fast and quick weight loss solution. Got a event to go to in say 24 hours? Get yourself the 24 hour Flu! Just call around the local health clinics and find out if anyone has been in recently for the flu...then high tail it to their offices and start rubbing your face on the chairs and licking door knobs. Or frequent the local Rite-aid and stalk the medicine aisle. What for someone to come in that looks like death warmed over and introduce yourself..but make sure you shake their hand. Then start picking your nose..shove your finger way up there. That should do the trick!
You may not feel like thanking me during the first 24 hours...but you think me later.
2 comments:
oh damn! I wish I had read this before I went to Walgreens. There were some sickly lookin' people there today. :P
LOL!! See what fun yuo may have missed out on?? I am sure there will be more sickly's around for you too lick :)
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